Knivesu's encounter with the evil talking bunnies
by Koyakku
Summary: It's Knives. It's bunnies. It's Guido. It's wierd, it's odd, it can only be. . . EVIL BUNNIES! -wiffle wiffle-


Disclaimer: No, Trigun is not mine any more than Yu Yu Hakusho or .hack//SIGN. *sigh* I do own the French Bunny Commander, the Tired Bunny Messenger, and Guido, though. *huggles Guido* My evil brown glowey eye bunny.  
  
KNIVESU'S ENCOUNTER WITH THE EVIL TALKING BUNNIES  
  
[Knives is sleeping peacefully in his room inside the Gung-Ho-Gun base. He clutches his teddy bear, murmuring about spiders.]  
  
Knives: No, no. . . . Save me from the spiders, Rem. . . they're gonna eat me. . . .  
  
[A nearby bush rustles outside Knives's window. A cute little nose pokes out from behind it, followed by an innocent-looking bunny head. A rabbit bounds out from behind the bush in full combat uniform.]  
  
Bunny: *in French accent* We shall see who is eating whom, Monsieur Knives. Oh, yes, we shall see . . .  
  
~The next day . . . ~  
  
[ Knives has ordered an emergency meeting of the Gung-Ho-Guns. The psychopathic plant is holding a rabbit-chewed daisy in a plain white pot. He is sobbing uncontrollably while Legato awkwardly pats his shoulders, assuring him that "Dai-kun" will live.]  
  
Knives: *sniff* I-I have called this meeting . . . I have called this emergency meeting of the Gung-Ho-Guns to find the fiend who did this to Dai- kun! I will not rest until the culprit is apprehended! *glares* ARE THERE ANY QUESTIONS?!  
  
[The Guns exchange glances of fear and shake their heads no]  
  
Knives: Good! NOW GO AND FIND THE EVIL SADIST WHO DID THIS!  
  
[The Guns scatter, save Midvalley and Zazie, who weren't listening.]  
  
Knives: *narrows eyes* I SAID GO!  
  
Midvalley: Huh?  
  
Zazie: I think were supposed to be looking for a Rabi, or something.  
  
Midvalley: A Rabi? Why would we be looking for a Rabi?  
  
Zazie: I don't know, but look up there! It says, "The psychopathic plant is holding a Rabi-chewed daisy in a plain white pot." So we must be looking for a Rabi with daisy leaves in his teeth.  
  
Midvalley: Really? I didn't think Rabbis ate daisies.  
  
Zazie: Well, the description wouldn't say it if they didn't.  
  
Knives: So, it was a Rabi, eh? Legato! Bring me a listing of all the local Rabbis!  
  
Legato: Yes, Knives-sama. *goes off to look for a phonebook*  
  
Midvalley: You're sure it doesn't say "Rabbit-chewed daisy?"  
  
Zazie: No, I'm pretty sure it says Rabi.  
  
Midvalley: I guess if it says Rabi, there must be at least ONE Rabi in the world who eats daisies.  
  
Zazie: I guess.  
  
[They both walk off to see if they can find the daisy-munching Rabi, just as Legato returns staggering under the weight of a huge phonebook.]  
  
Legato: I have the phonebook, Master.  
  
Knives: Good. Now look up any vegetarian Rabbis within two hundred iles.  
  
[Legato flips to the first page, and blinks in surprise.]  
  
Legato: I found one, Master.  
  
Knives: Really? Already? Who is it?  
  
Legato: . . . Rabi Hyme Goldstein.  
  
Knives: . . . Let me see that.  
  
[Legato hands over the book. Knives sees that the only vegetarian Rabi within two hundred iles is indeed Hyme Goldstein.]  
  
Knives: Well, we will just have to "interrogate" this Mr. Goldstein.  
  
Legato: Yes, Master.  
  
~In the bushes. . .~  
  
New York Bunny Lackey: Sho wat's da plan, Bosh?  
  
French Combat Bunny: The plan? The plan is to. . .  
  
NYBL: Yeah, yeah? Wat's da plan? Tell me da plan, you can trust me, Bosh!  
  
FCB: Let me finish, fool!  
  
NYBL: Shorry, Bosh.  
  
FCB: The plan is to eat Monsieur Knives's garden in its entirety while he and his servants are on that foolish hunt for Monsieur Goldstein.  
  
[Silence. NYBL looks at his boss incredulously.]  
  
NYBL: Ish dat all, Bosh?  
  
FCB: Yes, that is all.  
  
NYBL: . . . Excellent plan, Bosh!  
  
FCB: I thought so too.  
  
[A Tired Bunny Messanger runs into the bush.]  
  
TBM: Boss! Boss! They're coming this way!  
  
FCB: What? Have they seen through our plan?! It cannot be!  
  
[TBM glances at NYBL and winks.]  
  
TBM: Yeah, Boss. They've got live traps.  
  
FCB: This cannot be true! I have to see this for myself!  
  
NYBL: Bosh, keep your head! If you go out dere, you're going to get caught!  
  
FCB: Hn, you are right. I must surrender to them.  
  
[FCB turns to NYBL and hands him a hand grenade.]  
  
FCB: Use this on this bush after you leave. Deliver this letter to Monsieur Knives, it contains all the information he needs.  
  
NYBL: Alright, Bosh.  
  
FCB: Goodbye, Guido.  
  
Guido: Shee ya, Bosh.  
  
[Guido throws the grenade after hopping quickly out. The bush explodes in a brilliant flash of light as Guido salutes it with tears in his eyes.]  
  
Guido: Goodbye, Bosh. I'm gonna mish ya.  
  
~About three yarz away from the bush. . .~  
  
Knives: And then we. . .  
  
[Knives sees the explosion and Guido saluting it. He rubs his eyes, blinks, and looks again. There is nothing there.]  
  
Legato: You didn't finish your sentence, Master.  
  
Knives: I know that! But, just now, did you see that exploding bush? And that rabbit that saluted it?  
  
Legato: I didn't see anything, Master.  
  
Knives: . . . Liar.  
  
Legato: .// You can always tell, can't you?  
  
Knives: I know you too well. ^-^  
  
Legato: -.-; Perverted comment?  
  
Knives: Only if you want it to be.  
  
Legato: . . . Let's go snuggle.  
  
Knives: Why?  
  
Legato: Because the authoress, with all her omnipotent-y-ness, has commanded it.  
  
Knives: -.- Watch the fourth wall, 'Gato.  
  
Yes, the ending was CRAPPY. But it was also written about a week after I wrote the rest of it. Grah. Anyway. . . Er. . . Yeah, Review or Guido will eat you BRAIN. 'Cause he's a cute little zombie stalker bunny who loves you very, very much and will give you cookies.  
  
Guido: *wiffle wiffle*  
  
I know I'm rambling. NOW, GO! *"wiffle"s and hop-walks away* 


End file.
